We could use some blessings now

by Dr Lee Foong Ming

Human history has the uncanny knack of repeating itself. I first experienced a similar dire economic state we are in now four decades ago, though due to a different macro cause.

Singapore's economy was badly affected in the late 1970s to the early 1980s. At the layman's level, the inflation due to the 1979 oil crisis hit us hard and affected our family income.

My father worked in a photo developing firm as a photo lab assistant. Due to the difficult times, he got a part-time job in a small photoshop through a friend. He would continue to work after he knocked off from the day job, and reached home past nine every night. He would have his dinner, bathe, then go to bed. Day in day out, this routine was repeated except on Sundays, when he could rest.

My mother was a homemaker. To supplement the family income, she found a home-based sewing job probably outsourced by some factories manufacturing sports bags. I remember the brand “Yonex” printed on the synthetic leather sports bags. A heavy industrial grade sewing machine was brought to my home one day, and my mother started her race with time to meet deadlines. That industrial sewing machine was big, bulky, and very intimidating compared with the dainty sewing machine my mother was used to. When you stepped on the pedal, the motor roared and hammered the thick needle into the synthetic leather with gusto. I remember being frightened about my mum’s finger getting in the way of the needle... My mum bit her lips, and tamed this beast in a matter of a few days.

I guess my mum and dad did not think about much else other than just getting more jobs and earning some extra money so the family could get by. Any job. The roaring of the industrial grade sewing machine became the background music when my siblings and I did our homework around my mum. When we finished our homework, we would help to cut the loose strands of thread from the completed bags my mum had sewn from tailored parts. Every night just before nine, my little brother would boil a kettle of water for my father’s bath, and I would warm up the food kept for his dinner. When we heard his footsteps approaching and entering the house, I felt the family was complete again.

“HAVE RICE EAT RICE, HAVE PORRIDGE EAT PORRIDGE.”

The family was united in poverty. We subsisted on S$3 a meal for a family of five. Sometimes, we’d just share a dish supplemented with soy sauce.

Yet I never felt I was deprived because my parents nourished us with love although they struggled on their own. Mum never failed to get Dad to buy an oval-shaped tin of Van Houten almond chocolates for our birthdays, a luxury in those days. Dad saved up and bought me a “Papermate” ballpoint pen with a chrome-coated body as encouragement when I topped the class in Primary Three.

Looking back, my mum must have been terrified by the speed of the industrial sewing machine and stressed by the pressure to meet deadlines. My father would have been so hungry and tired when he went for his part-time job after he knocked off from his main job. There were no governmental handouts to tide over the few years of hardship, there were no governmental agencies to help people upgrade their skills or find jobs. Somehow, my parents just found ways to get extra jobs, then bit the bullet for the toil.

And even that has passed. I think it was not that my parents never worried, or feared that my dad would lose his job and we would be left hungry. I think their courage came from their determination just to feed the family. Full-stop. In exchange for that, they were willing to put up with fatigue, inconvenience, and even learning something new (even dangerous, like working on the industrial sewing machine). So it’s determination; and with determination, the willingness to take up challenges will follow.

FAST FORWARD TO 2020 

Some might say that the situation our parents faced was very different from what we are facing now. Maybe. But what could our parents do about oil prices then? Just like what can we do about COVID-19 now? There are things beyond our control, and there are things we can do.

Perhaps the biggest difference then and now is that we have grown used to living in our own comfort zones. The COVID-19 pandemic suddenly threw a lot of things off the usual track. It is one big, sudden DISRUPTION. So we have not recovered from the shock and anger of having our comfort zones shattered. Shock and anger bring about worry and fear that we will not be able to live the same life again.

Recently, we celebrated Singapore’s 55th National Day, as united patriotic, proud Singaporeans. As I watched the National Day Parade (NDP) evening show, I couldn’t shake off the image of an Ah Mah (grandmother in dialect) calmly giving us her mundane but wise advice. It reminded me of a similar adage my own grandma often repeated. Ah Mah said in Hokkien: “You must smile …You can tide through it with a smile.” Her quiet stoicism strangely gave me a sense of security and warmth, especially during this time of great uncertainty.

AFTER THE EUPHORIA 

Two days after National Day celebrations, we were told: “We are not returning to a pre-COVID-19 world … We must chart a new direction now,” said Trade and Industry Minister Chan Chun Sing on Tuesday (11 August 2020), after Singapore announced what he described as its “worst quarterly performance on record”.

The future seems bleak. I remember the rallying call the government has been making, “Together we will emerge stronger.” But how?

Together. Stronger. These are the two elements highlighted in the rally call. How do we nurture these to make the rally call a reality?

Many experts have given their views and advice on how we can use this crisis to emerge better and stronger: through self-care and social activism, through skills upgrade and re-inventing our jobs. I hear talk on radio boosting positivity amid the gloom on a daily basis. If we venture out of our self-imposed mental quarantine and try even one of the tips these kind people have offered, we should see some change for the better within ourselves. All we need is that one moment to flip our mind and turn things around. Perhaps we can start by first looking at the blessings we already possess, and the blessings we can create.

MANGALA SUTTA – THE DISCOURSE ON BLESSINGS 

The Mangala Sutta records the dialogue between the Buddha and a heavenly being who came visiting one fine night. The text below is translated by Venerable Narada.  

“Thus have I heard.[1] On one occasion the Exalted One was dwelling at Anathapindika's monastery, in Jeta's Grove,[2] near Savatthi.[3] Now when the night was far spent, a certain deity whose surpassing splendour illuminated the entire Jeta Grove, came to the presence of the Exalted One and, drawing near, respectfully saluted him and stood at one side. Standing thus, he addressed the Exalted One in verse:

"Many deities and men, yearning after good, have pondered on blessings.[4] Pray, tell me the greatest blessing!"

[The Buddha:]

"Not to associate with the foolish,[5] but to associate with the wise; and to honour those who are worthy of honour — this is the greatest blessing.

To reside in a suitable locality,[6] to have done meritorious actions in the past and to set oneself in the right course[7] — this is the greatest blessing.

To have much learning, to be skilful in handicraft,[8] well-trained in discipline,[9] and to be of good speech[10] — this is the greatest blessing.

To support mother and father, to cherish wife and children, and to be engaged in peaceful occupation — this is the greatest blessing. To be generous in giving, to be righteous in conduct,[11] to help one's relatives, and to be blameless in action — this is the greatest blessing.

To loathe more evil and abstain from it, to refrain from intoxicants,[12] and to be steadfast in virtue — this is the greatest blessing.

To be respectful,[13] humble, contented and grateful; and to listen to the Dhamma on due occasions[14] — this is the greatest blessing. To be patient and obedient, to associate with monks and to have religious discussions on due occasions — this is the greatest blessing.

Self-restraint,[15] a holy and chaste life, the perception of the Noble Truths and the realisation of Nibbana — this is the greatest blessing.

A mind unruffled by the vagaries of fortune,[16] from sorrow freed, from defilements cleansed, from fear liberated[17] — this is the greatest blessing.

Those who thus abide, ever remain invincible, in happiness established. These are the greatest blessings."[18]”

THREE AREAS OF BLESSINGS 

We can group the 18 blessings listed in this beautiful teaching into three areas:

1. Professional aspect  2. Interpersonal aspect  3. Spiritual aspect

REFLECTING ON THE PROFESSIONAL ASPECT 

Do we have much learning and knowledge? Do we have skills? Are we engaged in peaceful work?

If yes, how do we value-add to the blessings we already enjoyed for the benefit of more people?

If not, have we tried the many new courses under SkillsFuture? If we haven’t, what is stopping us? Resistance? Self-doubt? I hope we can be encouraged by my mum and her intimidating industrial sewing machine.

By reflecting on our existing repertoire of knowledge and skill s, and making necessary improvements to them, we will emerge more confident and strengthen our financial security.

INTERPERSONAL ASPECT 

We start with our closest family. In this crisis, have we sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk about what worries each family member? Have we shown all the cards on the table so that each family member understands the constraints (financial and otherwise) that the family faces together? Have we agreed on how we can plan our family finances? Do we share our joys and worries, and offer a listening ear or shoulder to cry on? When we are able to do these, it shows the unity of the family. This togetherness is one solid pillar that can support us and gives us courage to face new challenges.

Then we move on to other interpersonal relationships like co-workers, friends, neighbours, and all the way to other Singaporeans at large. We have begun to learn to share NDP fun packs, share free masks, share meals, share government subsidies… we have learnt to share our wealth. The recognition that we are in this together — our togetherness — encourages the less privileged among us to not feel belittled when they have to receive, to have the courage to ask for help; and for the rest of us, it adds to our blessings to be able to give. This togetherness is the strong social net we build.

SPIRITUAL ASPECT 

These rosy pictures will be shattered if we do not have a strong mental foundation. When the going gets tough, all the confidence from professional training, all the goodwill shown and received can be shattered by our frustration and anger when things don’t go our way. That is why we need to strengthen our mental cultivation through spiritual practice. Listening to Dharma talks regularly will inspire us and re-invigorate our resolve to practise. Cultivating gratitude and reflecting on the blessings we have can be a good foundation for all the positive mental habits we seek to reinforce. Due to the strength of all the virtues we have cultivated, our minds become stronger.

In this way, all three aspects feed one another in a virtuous loop to build and reinforce sustainable positive outlook and actions. The three aspects culminate in one huge cycle of virtuous actions in body, speech and mind. Merits accumulate. Singapore will thrive on these collective merits.

This is how we can emerge stronger together — the crisis is a precious opportunity for us to grow in these three aspects. Yes, we will not return to life pre-COVID, things will change for the better.

And this is the blessing we can truly offer to our home, our beloved Singapore.