Self-Compassion 
Generosity to Oneself (Part 3)

by Bee Li Tan

In the previous articles – Parts 1 and 2, we learned that:

1. By being generous to others, we are inevitably practising self-compassion because we set the conditions for a better future for ourselves too.

2. Keeping our five precepts is a gift because it gives limitless number of beings freedom from fear and suffering. As a result, we too experience the same freedom. 

3. Although these are great gifts, the Dhamma is the highest gift we could offer ourselves and others. It does not only lead to a better future but also gives us the opportunity to find true peace.

You may now be convinced that practising the Dhamma is the way to self-compassion but wonder whether enlightenment is far-fetched especially if you aren’t ready to renounce or have family responsibilities. You may also doubt your ability to attain Nibbana in this lifetime. So, then what can you reasonably aim to achieve this lifetime?

There are 4 levels of enlightenment. Each level is accompanied by the path and its result. The first level is stream-entry, and it is appealing to me for several reasons:

• It is the lowest hanging fruit.

• The wisdom you need is deep, but it is still accessible. It involves the arising of the Dhamma Eye: seeing that “whatever is subject to origination, is all subject to cessation”. That is, realising that whatever has a cause, comes to an end when the supporting cause or condition ceases. This applies to both our internal (cognitive/emotional) and external (physical) worlds and explains the elusive and fleeting nature of happiness. For example, you like watching a particular Korean drama. When the series ends, your joy ends there too until you find something else to make you happy. Even the mighty physical world isn’t free from this. There are certain conditions causing the earth and the universe to be in their present states. One day, those conditions will change and with it, the end of earth and the universe as we know it. In essence, you need to realise that all conditioned things are impermanent.

• Once you have entered the path leading towards stream-entry, you will not die without attaining stream entry.

• Having attained stream-entry, you will inevitably flow towards Nibbana within 7 lifetimes. In these lifetimes, you will never be reborn in the 3 woeful planes (i.e., animal, ghost, and hell). That means you would have secured a life either as a human or a deva (heavenly being). Phew! How long you take to reach Nibbana depends on your effort and kamma but just like how water in a stream is destined to flow towards the ocean, you are on a travelator towards Nibbana. This is because you would have realised things that will change your understanding of the world forever. Once you see the Dhamma, you will only continue to grow in virtue, mind, and wisdom.

• Having gained such wisdom, you will no longer be fearful of death and would have accumulated great merit. The Buddha gave an analogy. Just as the water in the oceans is immeasurable, the merits you acquire from stream entry are unfathomable. All we know is that a stream-enterer is endowed with a great bonanza of merits!

• You will have unshakeable confidence in the Buddha,

Dhamma, and Sangha, and have virtue that is carried forward to future lifetimes. You realise the Triple Gem is the real deal and have no doubt of the awakening of the Buddha, the truth of the Dhamma, and the practice of the Noble Sangha. You finally come to an end of your lengthy existential search. Your faith and virtue are “locked-in” and will not be influenced by the varied conditions you will be reborn into (e.g., born in a time when Dhamma is unknown, and humans are immoral). 

• The amount of suffering you experience before attaining Nibbana will only be a fraction of the suffering you would have experienced otherwise from the repeated cycles of birth and death. It is analogous to comparing 2-3 droplets of water with the water in the great ocean. 

For these reasons and perhaps more, the Buddha said this:

“Sole dominion over the earth, going to heaven, lordship over all worlds:

The fruit of stream-entry excels them” (Dhammapada 178)

Having learnt about stream-entry, I cannot imagine a more accessible, self-compassionate, and worthwhile pursuit for myself. It allows me to fulfil my responsibilities while I simultaneously work towards securing true peace. It is a path achievable by lay people like us. Many lay disciples of the Buddha were stream-enterers. These included the young, old, married, single, uneducated, and troubled.

The path towards stream entry is the Noble Eightfold Path and the supporting factors are associating with people of integrity, listening to the Dhamma, appropriate attention, and practising in accordance with the Dhamma. You may find more information on these in the book titled, Into the Stream, which is a compilation of suttas on the matter.

If this is something you want but doubt your abilities, let me tell you a story. There was once a monk named Cullapanthaka whose mind was so dull that he could not remember a single stanza even after learning for several months. Feeling discouraged, Cullapanthaka prepared to leave the Order. Fortunately, the Buddha knew this and instructed him to rub a cloth while repeating the word “taking on impurities”. Cullapanthaka started the exercise and noticed that the clean white cloth became dirty over time. He then realised the impermanent nature of all conditioned things. With further guidance from the Buddha, he attained enlightenment.

There are many accounts of people who attain stream entry despite their unfavourable conditions. You do not know the supporting conditions you have brought along with you to this lifetime. The Buddha may not be with us, but his teachings are more available to us now than ever before. With diligence and time, you may very well be on your way to securing true peace.