家庭管理的艺术

星云大师

关于家庭管理的问题，你们都是家庭管理的专家，我没有家庭，我怎么会说家庭管理呢？不过，现在来问你们大家，你们的家庭管理，成果如何？年纪不同， 就有带沟；性别不同，男女有别，各有需要；兴趣不一样，就各自为政。我想，现在的家庭，最重要的，大家要学习尊重、包容，要爱护别人的不同，你尊重他、爱护他。

家庭是爱的屋，爱能解决问题。但爱的不当、爱的过分了，也会出问题。一个大学女学生，她因妈妈讲话太啰嗦了，妈妈都是叫她：“不要看电视啦，要读书呀；赶快睡觉，身体要好啊。”她就生气说：“妈妈，你如果每天再这样啰嗦，我就不要这个家了”可是，可怜天下父母心，妈妈还是一样叫她：“孩子，快起来了，要做这个事，要做那个事......”她就生气，什么东西都不要了，离家出走了。跑出去以后，又没有带钱，从这条街走到那条街，从早上走到中午，肚子饿了，才想起来：“怎么办呢？”要吃饭呀。一个面摊卖面的老头在那儿卖面，对她说：“喂！小姑娘，要吃面吗？我煮一碗给你吃好吗？”“我肚子饿了，但我没有钱呀？”老头说：“没有钱没关系，俺请你吃一碗面好啦。”这个女学生一面吃，一面流眼泪。老头就问：“小姑娘，面不好吃吗？为什么要流泪呢？”“对不起，你我素昧平生不认识，能给我面吃，真感动啊！”老头说：“小姑娘，要感谢的不是我，是你的父母呀！他们每天养育你，给你做吃的，做了几十年了，我这一 碗面有什么要感谢的呢？这个女学生一听，才有觉醒、感悟：“对了，父母对我那么好，我怎么都不感恩呢？”面也不吃了，赶快要回家，向爸爸、妈妈忏悔。跑到家，妈妈正在门口：“孩子呀，你跑到哪里去了？从早上就在等你吃饭，急死妈妈啦！”女学生对妈妈说：“妈妈，对不起，我错了，我到现在才知道，你爱我、对我很好，我以后也要爱你，听你的话。”人要教育，明理，这个家才好。

还有婆媳问题——婆媳不和，自古以来，在中国各地到处都是。一个婆婆告诉媳妇：“端午节到了，包棕子呀。”现在的女孩子都不会包棕子，但婆婆叫做的，不能不包呀。千辛万苦把棕子包好了，煮棕子也很麻烦，要很长时间。她从早上忙到傍晚，棕子好快煮熟了，就听到婆婆在那里给自己的女儿打电话：“女儿呀，赶快回来，家里的棕子快要煮熟了，回来吃棕子吧！”媳妇生气了：“我这么辛苦了一天，你叫你的女儿回来吃棕子，我不干了！”围裙一扔，跑回娘家去了。 回到家里，妈妈正在那里要打电话：“女儿呀，你回来了，我正在要打电话给你呀！”“打电话给我干什么？”妈妈说：“我要让你回来吃棕子呀，你嫂子包的棕子很好吃呀。”她才想到：“噢！原来天下的妈妈待女儿、天下的婆婆待媳妇都是一样的啊！”人呀，家庭很多的烦恼，你要会把一些想法重新改良一下。

一个寺庙年青的住持上任了，一个客人找他谈话，客人到的时候，旁边还站着一个老和尚，年青的住持就跟老和尚说：“去倒茶来，给客人吃。”那个客人心想：“这个年青的和尚派头很大呀！你看，叫老和尚去倒茶。”茶倒来了，年青的住持又在说：“去切一盘水果来，请客人吃。”老和尚又切了一盘水果，年青的住持又吩咐：“我还有事，你再陪客人谈谈，一会儿，要陪客人吃饭。”客人信徒就有些不满意了：“刚才那个住持是你什么人？”老和尚说：“他是我的徒弟，我是他师父呀！”

“呀，徒弟怎么敢命令你倒茶呢？”老和尚说：“我老了，做事都做不动了，他对我好啊，你看，只叫我倒茶，没有叫我烧茶，烧茶很辛苦啦！”“还叫你切水果呢？”“是呀，叫我切水果，这个很简单呀，假如叫我去种水果就很麻烦了。”你们在家庭里面，在一些事情上，就应该这样的想问题，要学会跳探戈，对方进了，我就让他几步，我有的时候也会进一下，他也会让我嘛。

到昨天为止，我在台湾做了14场的皈依三宝仪式，好几万人。皈依三宝，第一就是皈依佛，你们各位大家不管你皈依没有皈依，不过，与佛法亲近，最大的利益，就是肯承认自己：“我是佛！”我让他们跟我说：“我是佛！”他们都跟我说：“我是佛！”我说：“好啦，是你自己说的，你是佛了，等一会儿回家，假如遇到夫妻要斗嘴了，要赶快想：‘哼，我现在是佛祖了，我要跟你吵架吗？’”明天肚子饿了，喝个老酒，吃的醉薰薰的，你赶快想：“佛祖有这样吗？佛祖有这样喝酒吗？”酒杯丢掉！抽香烟，佛祖有这样吸烟吗？ 香烟丢掉！你马上不就是佛祖了吗？

人，很愚痴，有时候不懂得相互容忍、相互尊重的道理。有一个老祖父，小孙子调皮，就打了他一个嘴巴说：“静一点嘛，不要闹了。”这也无所谓呀，可是，老祖父旁边的儿子看不下去了，自己打自己的嘴巴。老祖父就问：“哎，无缘无故的干什么打自己呢？”儿子就很生气的说：“你打我的儿子，我也打你的儿子。”

我们六根的修行，你们修行，刚才说修心、修心、修口、修耳......要修的太多了，时间也要修，空间也要修，你也要修，我也要修，大家都要修。眼睛，常常有人说：“我亲眼看到的！”亲眼看到的也不一定是对，这样的例子实在太多了；“我亲耳听到的，很不满意！”亲耳听到的也会错的。所以，人要修眼、 修耳，最好是：不看的世界最美丽！不听的声音最好听！怎么样学习不看、不听，不是小傻瓜，会更聪明！过去好多的修行人，他不是要看经，他不会去点灯；他不会要去拜佛，他就不走路。他每走一步路，每一个动作，都觉得很有意义，才重要！我们常常在一个小团体里面，七、八个人，这个也讲，那个也讲，七、八个人大家都在讲，大家都没有听，大家都在讲。我说：哎，你们讲给谁听呀？

常常我在讲座的时候，下面也坐了好几百人，我在讲话，问问他们有什么反应，一个个都没有表情。

不该说的要说，应该好好听的他不听。所以，我们要会听，要听的不能错呀！要谛听，很认真的听，听出悟道来，听出知识来，听出感想来，听得日渐聪明： “噢！这样的呀！我懂了。”这就好了。这一句话说出来，恐怕那个人不欢喜，那个人不以为然，不能说！要尽量说一些皆大欢喜的话。所以，修心，要把心能明白了，“千年暗室，点一盏心灯！”同样的，眼、耳、鼻、舌、身也需要通道，也需要正常的发展。

至于眼、耳、鼻、舌、身的修行，这个比较容易，大家多反省、多注意自己，就会有进步！

让佛法住世，普利有情，是每一位佛弟子的责任。希望大家发心，成为法的传递者和播种者。将善的种子一化为十，十化为百，让千千万万众生，都能步上成佛觉悟之道。

Continual change, relentless change, is constant in our world.

-- Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche

What is the goal of the Buddhist path?

by Venerable Thubten Chodron

It is to discover a state of lasting happiness for both ourselves and others by freeing ourselves from cyclic existence, the cycle of constantly recurring problems that we experience at present. Under the influence of ignorance, disturbing attitudes and actions, we are born and die, experiencing various problems during our lives. Although all of us want to be happy and we try hard to get the things that will make us happy, no one is totally satisfied with his or her life. And although we all want to be free from difficulties, problems come our way without us even trying. People may have many good things going for them in their lives, but when we talk with them for more than five minutes, they start telling us their problems. Those of us who are in this situation, who aren’t yet Buddhas, are called “sentient beings”.

The root cause of cyclic existence is ignorance: we don’t understand who we are, how we exist or how other phenomena exist. Unaware of our own ignorance, we project fantasised ways of existing onto ourselves and others, thinking that everyone and everything has some inherent nature and exists independently, in and of itself. This gives rise to attachment, an attitude that exaggerates the good qualities of people and things or superimposes good qualities that aren’t there and then clings to those people or things, thinking they will bring us real happiness. When things don’t work out as we expected or wished they would, or when something interferes with our happiness, we become angry. These three basic disturbing attitudes — ignorance, attachment and anger — gives rise to a host of other ones, such as jealousy, pride and resentment. These attitudes then motivate us to act, speak or think. Such actions (karma) leave imprints on our mind streams and these imprints then influence what we’ll experience in the future.

We are liberated from the cycle of rebirth by generating the wisdom of realising “emptiness” or “selflessness”. This wisdom is a profound understanding of the lack of fantasised ways of existing: the lack of a solid, independent self. It eliminates all ignorance, wrong conceptions and disturbing attitudes, thus putting a stop to all misinformed or contaminated actions. The state of being liberated is called Nirvana or liberation. All beings have the potential to attain liberation, a state of lasting happiness.

The Buddha summarised the process of going from confusion to enlightenment in the Four Noble Truths. First, we have unsatisfactory experiences in life; second, these experiences have causes; third, it is possible to remove these causes and their consequent difficulties, thus arriving at a state of lasting happiness; and fourth, there is a path or method to do this.

Limit yourself to just a few activities and undertake them all with diligence.

Not allowing your mind to become fidgety and restless,

Make yourself comfortable on the seat in your retreat cabin,

This is the surest way to gain the riches of a Dharma practitioner.

You might remain sealed in strict retreat for months or even years,

But if you fail to make any progress in the state of your mind,

Later, when you tell everyone about all that you did over such a long time,

Aren’t you just bragging about all the hardships and deprivation?

And all their praise and acknowledgements will only make you proud.

-- Chatral Rinpoche

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心灵，我們的幸福之窗

广声大和尚

自19世纪以来，佛教日渐与科学产生联系，能与科学一样致力于揭示世界的真谛，以将世界的示现与其本来面目之间作一个截 然的区分。

我师父的师尊之一，太虚大师曾经评价道：“科学上有所发明，即宗教上便有所失据。寻常神我等教，根本上既少真理，一经风吹，不免为之摇动。骇辩不足，继以恐怖，牵强附会，又失自主，此其人至为可悲。佛教，只怕他科学不精进，科学不勇猛，科学不决定方针精究真理，科学不析观万有彻底觉知。能如是、则科学愈进步，佛法将愈见开显……科学愈精进，则愈与佛法接近故。”

近来关于佛教与科学之间相融相摄的讨论已然取得进展，其焦点就是各种类型的禅修，特别是内观禅修及其与神经科学及心理治疗之间的联系。

越来越多的科学研究成果表明佛教禅修会对健康带来诸多益处。大量研究已证明正念心理治疗法可有效治疗各种精神上的疾病，也验证了佛教正念和慈悲的有效性与永恒性。

虽然佛陀是在2550多年前传授了佛法，然而今天科学研究证实了学习正念心理治疗法能培养心理的承受力。此外，也有一些学者认为佛教禅修是一门“内心”或“心灵上的科学”。

正如佛陀在《法句经》里讲述：“诸法心先导，心主心所作，若以意恶行，恶语恶身行，则苦必随彼，如轮随兽足。若以清净意，或语或行业。是则乐随彼，如影不离形。”

Not from itself and not from something else, not from both and not without a cause, does any thing whatever, anywhere, at any time, arise.

-- Nāgārjuna

Buddhadharma

by Kalu Rinpoche

Twenty-five hundred years ago, through the experience. of meditation, Buddha Sakyamuni penetrated the essence of mind. By direct contemplation, he realised mind's profound nature and thereby attained enlightenment. This was his crowning experience. Having discovered the reality of what we are, he expressed his teaching and proposed a way for others to gain access to the experience he had realised. This teaching is called the Buddhadharma, the teaching of Buddha.

It is experiential knowledge that teaches us to recognise our fundamental nature and liberates us from falling prey to illusions, passions, and thoughts. This awareness grants real happiness during this life, at the time of death, and in future lives up to ultimate spiritual enlightenment-which is the state of Buddhahood. This knowledge develops universal wisdom and compassion.

THE INNER SCIENCE

Buddhadharma, which concerns our deepest inner nature, is called the inner science. This is the traditional name of what in the West is called Buddhism. The Tibetan expression rendered in Western languages as "Buddhism" is nangpa sangyepai cho. The last two terms taken together, sangyepai cho, refer to Buddhadharma, or the Dharma of awakening. "Dharma" in this context means "teaching," and the word "Buddha'' refers to the origin of these teachings- the historical Buddha-as well as to the spiritual realisation he attained, or Buddhahood. Nangpa means "inner" and emphasises the fact that these teachings are concerned not so much with the physical body and the outer world as with the mind abiding there, since the teachings' main purpose is to provide mental peace, well-being, and liberation. Buddhadharma is therefore the inner science, or the science of the interior, understood as the science of mind.

THE TRANSMISSION OF SPEECH AND MIND

All the words of the Buddha were recorded in writing and have been preserved in the Tibetan tradition in a collection of 108 volumes called the Kangyur, which means "the translation of the Buddha's words." The Kangyur contains texts called sutras which are the foundation of the first two levels of teachings, the Hinayana and the Mahayana. It also contains texts called tantras, which are the basis of the third level of teachings, the Vajrayana.

In addition to the Kangyur, which forms the basic canon of the tradition, there are all the commentaries and treatises that India's leading sages, scholars, and adepts subsequently composed in order to clarify Buddha's teachings. This collection is called the Tengyur, which means "the translation of the commentaries." The entire collection originally contained 240 volumes, of which only 215 remain today. In addition to the Kangyur and Tengyur, there are the thousands of volumes of commentaries by Tibetan scholars and adepts. This collection is known as the Sungbum.

All these teachings of the Buddha offer a way of awakening, of liberation from the illusions of ignorance and the afflictions those illusions induce. They are the remedies for the three fundamental mental poisons of desire, hatred, and ignorance, and all the resulting afflictive emotions. In their many subdivisions and combinations, these three basic poisons can result in up to 84,000 types of mental afflictions.

The sutra teachings are made up of three collections: the vinaya, or collection on discipline; the sutras, or collection of sayings; and the abhidharma, or collection on reality. These three collections are considered remedies to be applied to each of the three basic mental poisons. The vinaya, which clarifies the spirit of discipline and its rules, is the remedy for the 21,000 types of desire. The sutra collection is an account of the teachings given by Buddha Sakyamuni in different places and circumstances. It is the remedy for the 21,000 types of hatred. The abhidharma is an explanation of the nature of reality, existence, the world, and individuals; it remedies the 21,000 types of ignorance. The tantra ("continuity") teachings constitute the Vajrayana and are considered the remedy for the 21,000 types of combinations of the three mental poisons.

It would be difficult to study all these teachings completely, but the lineage lamas transmit to us their essence in the easily understandable form of direct oral instructions. All Buddha's teachings have been transmitted in writing through these texts, but also in mind through the realisation of the lineage lamas up to the present day by an uninterrupted transmission from master to disciple. In the Kagyu lineage ("the tradition of practice") alone, there has been an ocean of adepts over the centuries, a host of beings who arrived at supreme awakening. Even today, there are masters who have gained perfect realisation of these teachings. The various aspects of their transmission and accomplishment have remained intact up to the present; their teachings are thereby accessible to us in their entirety, in theory as well as in practice. It is up to us to have the intelligence, courage, and energy to practice these masters' instructions.

佛陀的事业对众生有什么样的利益呢？只利益他人是佛陀事业的特点，佛陀在呼吸和四种行为（行住坐卧）之中，都在利益众生，佛陀的身上每发一次光、每讲一座间的法，都会令数以万计的众生获得两种善趣、预流向之类等四种境地，或者能将其安置在大乘之道中。即使在示现圆寂后，佛陀的色身、舍利、佛塔以及生前示现成道的所有圣地，也同样能为众生播下解脱的种子。尤其是佛陀的经文，更是佛陀事业中功德最大的部分，能引导众生走上解脱的道路。比如，对一尊佛像，如果一个懂得佛法的人生起信心，发心前来瞻仰、顶礼，这样做自然是有功德的。如果对于一个不懂任何佛法的人来说，即使他并没有发心来拜见，或者在什么也没想的情况下绕塔、顶礼，而因为诸佛是无上殊胜的资粮田，由于顶礼的对境殊胜，他也会结下一个成就的缘，最终一定能成就佛果。 

-- 堪布阿贝仁波切

念佛修行人的四大感应

妙莲老和尚

佛法是妙法，绝定兑现，兑现是兑现但要符合因果，你不要在因果之外求。不合乎因果、不合乎条件，那什么都得不到;只要条件具足了，哪有不得的?一切都能得!像大火所烧，不但普通火，就是整山之大火，念观音菩萨都能使它消灭!

我们种种的病苦，念观音菩萨并没有解除苦，这样有没有感应呢?感应有所谓“显感显应”，“冥感冥应”，“冥感显应”，“显感冥应”这四种。佛法在各种讲法的时候都有这四句料简来鉴别，你明白这四句，一切的理都能够通，这四句的理你不明白，那你看佛法就好像处处有障碍，走不通一样，这四种感应换句话说，就是近感远应，远感近应，近感近应，远感远应，这些都有它的道理，为什么有这些不同呢?这就是众生各有的根机不同，智愚不等，力有大小，心有诚与不诚，这些地方都是有差异的。

什么叫冥感冥应?就是你过去所修的善业在过去没有得到感应，你今生虽然没有修，却是过得安乐自在、富贵，没有苦难，你今生的侥幸不是没有因的，否则你安乐自在，怎么别的人就不安乐自在呢?这就是过去种的善因，今生得到果，说来说去这都是三世的循环，这是冥感冥应。

"显感显应"今天求观音菩萨，明天就满你愿。比方你有病苦，做种种的打斋供佛、供众、忏悔的功德，明天就真的得到感应，这些事情常时都有的，就算你没有，别的人是有。这是显感显应，也叫做即感即应，所谓感应如同桴鼓之相应，什么叫桴鼓?那个打鼓的槌子就叫做“桴”，鼓槌子一打到鼓上，一触到鼓上，它就会响，感应就是这样子。

假如你念佛念到功夫相应，你举起名号，一称名号，当下身心就清凉自在，但那是功夫成就了，你要知道，他现在功夫能成就，即刻称一句佛号即刻就得自在，他也是费了好大的时间精神上去，不是那么侥幸而得的，你要是下到功夫也是同他一样，没什么不可能，没有两个样子的，因果不会欺负人的。“看到他那么样好，我怎么就做不到?哦，我的因没有种得好。”那你就发大精神努力地赶上去、追上去，你有一天也是能够显感显应。

“显感暝应”就是现在你拜佛，做一切善事没有得到善报，你现在感应没有，转世就会得了。还有一种显感暝应就是你做了善事，在你感觉好像没有得到感应，其实在暗中不知已经帮你化了多少凶险，只是你不知;如果你不做善事，你此生此刻此时不知道要受多大的恶报呢，这些地方因为我们人的智慧不足，短视，好多事情诸佛菩萨或者你祖上帮你化解了，你还一点都不知道，这就是显感暝应，道理就这样子。

大家这些道理明白了，就要安心执持观音圣号，“但事耕耘，不问收获”。农夫耕耘就有收获嘛，不耕耘当然就没有收获。所以讲“但事耕耘”，我们要求感应，那你就“但事念观音菩萨”，一心一意地执持圣号。

我们要求什么感应呢?我们要求生西方的感应，要开正智慧，要有出世之福，千万不可以有世间之福，不可以有世间之慧。世间之智慧是造恶之因，也是断恶修善的一个大障碍。所谓“世智辩聪”，这是属于八难之一，小聪明是用不得的，决定要用大智慧。什么是大智慧?你能了解到“无我，无人，修一切善法”这就是大智慧，你还是有我，有人，虽然修一切善法，这还是小智小慧，所得的福报还是有限量的，以无我无人修一切善法，这是成佛的因，所以金刚经上说“无我，无人，修一切善法，即得阿耨多罗三藐三菩提”，你有我有人，就得不到了。

这样我们就好好念观音菩萨，用至诚心，每一句圣号从至诚心出发，从耳朵历历明明地听回到心里，就这样循环地慕直念去就好了，但有的人做了总是不行，至诚心发不起来，怎么办?就要生大惭愧，一步一步地来，就要想到“我们本性之体与佛平等的，既然与佛平等，佛陀把他的心性造成了佛，我们也是用心性，却造成了在六道轮回里打转，佛陀在四圣谛中已经走到了极果的位置，我们与佛同样有个清净之心，怎么他能做到成佛，我们做不到?这样在六道轮回里总是做些害人害己的事情。”在这里要生大惭愧心。

The mode of being that is expressed by the Buddha is at the heart of reality. It’s not the notion we usually construct for ourselves. Our notion of being is dualistic. We think of it as the opposite of the notion of nonbeing. The reality of being that the Buddha tries to convey is not the opposite of nonbeing. He’s using language differently. When he says “self,” it’s not the opposite of anything. The Buddha is very aware that self is made of nonself elements. That is our true self.

-- Thich Nhat Hanh