Loving-kindness and Compassion

by Thrangu Rinpoche

If we take advantage of others for the sake of our own happiness, 

we will be the only ones who are happy while others suffer. 

Building our own happiness upon someone else’s pain contradicts 

the practice of loving-kindness and compassion.

Loving-kindness and compassion are very important in both dharma practice and everyday life. Loving-kindness is the wish for sentient beings to obtain happiness, while compassion is wanting them to be free from suffering.

ELIMINATING SELF-GRASPING

Generally, we have a mind that clings to a self, and this is known as self-grasping. It makes us feel as though we are really important, that we have to become happier than other people. Is it wrong to think in this way?

There is nothing particularly bad about thinking like this. However, if we take advantage of others for the sake of our own happiness, we will be the only ones who are happy while others suffer. Building our own happiness upon someone else’s pain contradicts the practice of loving-kindness and compassion.

How can we cultivate loving-kindness and compassion? We need to remove self-grasping and to love others as if they were ourselves. We can use our own experience as an example. When we are sick, worried, exhausted, ageing, or under the sway of the afflictions, we seek relief from these sufferings. Likewise, other people do not wish to suffer. Similarly, they also want to experience happiness.

This is the reason why we should not harm or inflict pain on others. Instead, we should be kind towards people and help them obtain happiness.

EQUALISING SELF AND OTHERS

We can also practice equalising self and others and exchanging self and others to cultivate a mind that cherishes others more than ourselves. This helps us to develop loving-kindness and compassion. To equalise self and others is to understand that all other sentient beings are exactly the same as we are in wanting to be happy and free from suffering. This is why sentient beings (others) and ourselves (self) are equal.

We should let go of the self-clinging that considers only ourselves as important, and abandon thinking that other people don’t matter as much. This method of training our thinking is the practice of equalising self and others.

EXCHANGING SELF AND OTHERS

The practise of exchanging self and others is to put ourselves in someone else’s position — to regard ourselves as others, and others as ourselves.

When we have feelings of jealousy or arrogance towards another person, how would we feel if we were that person? If we were to become the despised object of suspicion and jealousy, how would we feel?

We can tame our afflictions by meditating on exchanging self and others. Gradually, we will be able to cultivate loving-kindness and compassion towards others.