Self-Compassion
Generosity to Oneself (Part 2)

by Bee Li Tan

In Part One, we focused on how by being generous to others, we are indirectly being generous to oneself and we also learnt that keeping the precepts is a gift in itself because we give others the freedom from fear, animosity, and oppression. As a result, we are guilt-free, do not create bad kamma, and attract the virtuous.

But there is more to it. The practice of virtue influences how we reap the fruits of our generosity (AN10.177).

If we:

1. possess right view;

2. practise right speech1 and right action;

3. do not bear ill will; and

4. is not covetous (i.e., greedy over the possessions of others)

… the practice of generosity will lead us to a rebirth in a heavenly or the human realm, we will have material wealth, and get to enjoy sensual pleasures. On the contrary, if we practise generosity without the above 4 qualities, we will get to enjoy the merits of giving but in the animal realm (think of Queen Elizabeth’s pet dog!). Hence, the above 4 qualities enable us to enjoy the fruits of our generosity in a decent way (as humans or devas).

So, now we know that keeping the precepts is a gift in itself – for others as well as for ourselves. We also learnt that virtue when paired with generosity and other qualities, lead to better outcomes. But is virtue the ultimate gift there is?

3. The Greatest Gift You Can Give Yourself is the Gift of the Dhamma

The Buddha stated that “the gift of the Dhamma excels all gifts” (Dhammapada, 354). Why?

1. Samsara is endless for those who do not attain enlightenment.

If we were to pile the bones we each have accumulated across multiple lifetimes, they would be as high as the tallest mountain (Iti 1.24). The tears we have shed can fill the great oceans (SN15.3). This means that suffering can be perpetual unless we do something about it.

2. It is rare for the Dhamma to be taught in samsara.

The Buddha looked back 91 aeons2 (i.e., 91 world-cycles, which is an incomprehensibly long time) and saw through the power of his mind that there were only 6 Fully Enlightened Buddhas who arose before him during that period who taught the Dhamma. There were periods of darkness where humans were unaware of the Dhamma even though the Dhamma has always remained true. There were also periods of anarchy when humans were lost and vile (DN26).

3. It is rare to be born as a human and have the conditions to learn the Dhamma.

The Buddha gave an analogy of how rare it is to be reborn as a human (SN56.48). Imagine a blind sea-turtle that only surfaces the ocean once every 100 years. The probability of it blindly surfacing while simultaneously putting his head through the hole of a yoke (i.e., donut-shaped wood) is very low.

Likewise, it is rare for a being to be reborn as a human. Even as a human, not everyone can come across the Dhamma and for those who do, may not have the karmic conditions to appreciate it or be able to practise it.

Think of the poor people at the pilgrimage sites such as Bodhgaya. They are so close to the Buddha’s teachings yet far from having the conditions to practise it. Then, in some cases, even if one is wealthy and have all the material resources to learn the Dhamma, but do not even have the affinity to be introduced to the Dhamma, let alone be able to learn and practise the Dhamma. Therefore, the fact that you are reading this article now suggests that you have once laid the conditions for you to (re)discover the Dhamma in this life. Sadhu!

4. The Dhamma is like a Manual on Living.

As we learn and put the Dhamma to practice, we begin to set the internal and external conditions to be happy in this life and future lives. We also learn to solve problems skillfully and correct wrong views, which can transform the way we live our lives now and even impact future lifetimes.

5. The Dhamma leads us towards Nibbana, the ultimate peace.

Even though we may live comfortably, certain forms of suffering prevail – ageing, sickness, death, not getting what we want, and having to part with people and things we love. For those who see this truth and are finally weary, the Dhamma shows us the way towards true peace.

For the reasons above, the Dhamma is the greatest gift. Although it is timeless, it is extremely rare and precious. If we have the fortune of being human and able to be practising the Dhamma, it can lead to happiness now, in future, and eternally. It could save us from perpetual suffering.

But in order to enjoy the precious gift of the Dhamma we would need to gift ourselves something first; time, one that no money can buy once lost.

The culture that most of us live in today, especially in modern cities, promotes "busyness", typically disguised in filling our time with activities either in the name of having fun, doing good or being productive.

Although some of these are essential, like work that is needed for survival and some leisure time for self-care, we can try incorporating more time to rest, learn the Dhamma, and contemplate. This may entail re-prioritising and letting go of some activities in our lives.

I would like to invite you to experiment with having more time for yourself and observe the positive changes you may experience.