A True Caregiver

by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

The various studies and practices of the Dharma are all essentially diverse ways of learning how to work with our mind. Let’s say our mind is like a house. Before you decorate the house it needs to be cleaned, otherwise you will only be enhancing a mess. In a clean house, the true beauty of the decorations can really shine. Just as in this example, there is always a need to work with purifying our mind. To decorate our mind is through further study and  practice of the Dharma.

What do we actually cleanse? Basically we cleanse our ignorant mind of whatever has sprung forth from that ignorance. The mind of ordinary sentient beings has a distinct sense  of self. This sense of self is in a constant state of struggle, operating through the habits  generated from ignorance. These patterns need to be studied and understood. This sense of  clinging to the self has to be managed and transformed into something totally different. Without  studying the habits and patterns of ordinary mind, we will be unable to transform the clinging to the self and to penetrate to the level of ignorant mind. From time to time we may temporarily be  able to penetrate ignorance by the blessings of a very great master and our own devotion. But inevitably the habit comes back. All the struggles return, making it hard to fully rely upon ourselves and to genuinely develop our confidence.

There are as many varieties of habits as there are people existing in the world. In essence, however, there are the habitual patterns of the five different disturbing self-centred emotions: being attached, angry, proud, jealous, and unaware or stupid. One particular individual might have more difficulty or pain with anger rather than being jealous or prideful or attached. Another person might have serious problems with attachment, but not necessarily be aggressive, prideful, or jealous. These habits can be both gross and subtle. The study and practice of the  Dharma is to really understand one’s own habits, to have insight into them from a very clear, objective point of view, and then to find the skillful means to work with these habits.

The Dharma presents us with options. The deep wisdom of Dharma shows us how  to find freedom and liberation from our own disturbing, painful habits. Without the Dharma, we would have to resort to our own limited understanding. We would be like flies trying futilely  to get through a closed window. Not realising that the transparency is actually solid glass, a fly will smash against the windowpane over and over again, eventually dropping dead. Without the wisdom and skillful means of the Dharma, we can end up feeling like that helplessly  buzzing fly.

With the help of the Buddha, who is the teacher, the Dharma, which is the path, and  the Sangha, our companions on this path, from deep within we strive to be free from our negative habits. We can no longer stand our confusion. The root cause of our suffering is our  unmanaged, untamed mind, which cherishes the self. That is the problem.

Now we have arrived at the place where we do not want to let mind be chaotic and confused. We no longer want to be under the control of a self that randomly picks and senselessly  chooses how to operate. Instead, we want to replace the sense of self and the habits developed out of ignorance with a true caregiver. We want to exchange our present mind’s confusion  and lack of sanity for the true caregiver of the mind that has the potential to embody wisdom. The wisdom inherent within us can discern what is favourable and what is not. We do not have to be controlled by instincts, but can question the very instincts that have gotten us into trouble. The instincts and urges that we feel so strongly inside result from the powerful momentum that has been created by habits. Without some self-reflection or questioning of our mind in this state, mind is very vulnerable and loses all its power of discernment.

As practitioners, we need to question and study our habits. We need to intimately examine the method of functioning that has caused us so much pain and suffering. Up until this point we have been completely under the power of confusion and disturbing emotions. These have guided our destinies. We have endured this pain in samsara for endless lifetimes. This is the truth, however painful and unbearable it may be. Now, finally, we have reached the place where we can do something about it. We must find within ourselves, in the core of our heart, renunciation. We need a certain confidence that we can actually abandon negative habitual patterns. We have the potential not only to renounce what is going on in our mind, but also to replace it with the enlightened mind. We need to have the confidence that enlightened mind is  reachable. It is not something imported or stolen from outside, a foreign thing. Enlightened mind is  present in this very confusion — inherent in this mind that at this very moment is ruled by habits,  governed by ego, and filled with disturbing thoughts and emotions.

How can we find confidence in our present mind that is in such a deluded state?  How do we bring this confidence out more and more and make it stronger? We need to rely on  the Buddha, the teacher, the Dharma, his teachings, and the Sangha, our companions on the path. We need to connect with the three wisdom: the hearing wisdom, the contemplative wisdom, and the meditative wisdom. With the help of these three wisdom, our innate capacity can be brought out to the fullest extent.

Right now we have extremely favourable circumstances. Not only are we interested in  the Dharma, but also we can meet teachers, hear and study teachings, and receive a  spiritual teacher’s guidance.

With the support of the perfect teacher and the teaching, when we study our mind,  our pain, our habits, our self-cherishing and clinging, we can very clearly and intimately identify  how pain and suffering are linked to the habits, how the habits are all linked to the disturbing emotions, the disturbing emotions are all linked to the cherishing and protecting of the self, the  cherishing and protecting of the self is linked to the sense of clinging to a self, and finally the sense  of clinging to a self is a product of confusion and ignorance. We can see this very clearly in our  own experience. We have the potential to discern what is favourable and what is not, what supports our happiness and what opposes it. Based on this self-reflection we can gain the  courage, the confidence, to overcome all our negative ignorant traits through the wisdom of the  Dharma.

Self-reflection is not an end in itself. Rather, it is the key that opens the door to your innermost qualities, to buddha nature. It shows you the strength and confidence you already  possess as a result of those innate qualities. This strength and confidence allows you to carry on  with a sense of richness, of inner wealth.

Happiness and discernment can blossom from there. Once this discernment  blossoms, it’s not so difficult to get rid of or abandon the negative tendencies. It’s as if you have a piece  of metal that looks like gold and you treat it like gold, thinking it is very precious and will get you out of your impoverished state. You put it under your pillow to keep it safe and from time to time  take it out to look at it. Then all of a sudden you find out that it’s not gold — it’s actually a piece of radioactive ore. Your whole relationship with it changes immediately. Once you  know what it actually is and how dangerous it is, you will not struggle to get rid of it. Rather, you  will try to get it out of your life as quickly as possible.

Similarly, it takes getting to that point to really know our own mind. We have to really know our own suffering, our disturbing emotions, and our struggle with our sense of  self-importance. Truly know how these lead to so much more confusion and chaos in the form of actions that further perpetuate habits. When this kind of realisation springs forth, we feel inspired to change our whole mind-set to something much more enlightened, to a completely different type  of mind. 

Again, in getting rid of all the layers of neurosis, we become very appreciative of the  Dharma. We understand how it helps us to cleanse our mind and to replace what we have cleansed with sublime tools. If we do not replace the space we’ve cleansed with anything, it feels empty. It’s quite nice to get rid of all the things that are crowding our room; however, we do need some furniture to make ourselves comfortable. People are afraid of emptiness because they think that if we get rid of everything, there will only be the empty. The Dharma suggests what to  bring in after we have cleansed our mind, and it opens us to nurture and appreciate that.

Unconscious ignorant mind operates by cherishing and protecting the self. From this develops the mess of disturbing emotions, the habits they provide, and all the subsequent pain. But the clear, conscious mind that is steeped in the wisdom of the Buddhas, instead of  protecting and cherishing the self, has expanded to include cherishing and protecting all others. At  our current stage, to literally cherish all others and protect them is perhaps beyond our capacity,  but the intention or wish to do so is certainly within our reach. To have that intention very alive inside of us as a deep yearning strengthens our determination to make progress every day, regardless of how much we are at odds with our old habits. This heartfelt intention sustains the  practitioner’s mind in loving-kindness and compassion and all the positive actions that spring forth  from there.

It’s not that we have no struggle here. We have a tremendous struggle against our  habits. But we welcome that struggle, rather than thinking, “Oh, it should be a free ride to enlightenment.” There is not going to be a free ride to enlightenment, a ride without any challenge. If that were possible, why wouldn’t everyone be enlightened as easily as they intended? Such a vision is not realistic, nor is it exciting. We have to see ourselves rising from our own cocoon,  rising from our own old ignorant mind.

Samsara and nirvana exist within you. Samsara is made of our mind, as is nirvana.  Without samsara, there is not going to be nirvana. Without a dweller in samsara, there is not  going to be an achiever of nirvana. Of course, according to absolute truth there are no notions of  nirvana or samsara. However, within the relative way of viewing reality, because we intend to  attain nirvana, there must be samsara to overcome.

In this kind of thinking, every possibility is a great thrill. Let’s say, generally speaking,  that we don’t enjoy someone’s aggression coming towards us. We tend to dread this  aggression, especially if it’s from people dwelling under the same roof. Spouses dread each  other’s wrath or temper. Children dread upsetting their parents and unleashing their anger. Aggression disturbs our peace, and that disturbance causes us dread and fear. With a bit of study, we  can understand that it is not the aggression that destroys our peace. It is our mind’s weakness in patience that destroys our peace and creates that fear. If you know for a fact that someone is not  going to harm you, you have no fear. No matter how much other beings are intending to harm you,  even if they swarm around you like a cloud of small flies in summertime, you don’t have fear, because you feel secure. The experience of threat is due to our own lack of security, our own lack  of stability, our own lack of unshakeable strength and patience, and this makes us feel  overwhelmed by aggression, big or small.

Bodhisattvas develop unshakeable patience. No matter how many flies are swarming  around threatening to get a good bite of your skin, if you have attained stability in the training, you cannot be harmed. In reality it’s exciting to have difficult circumstances and problems  like aggression come into your life so that you can actually work with them. Without  some practice, you are never going to get there. Knowing that, all of these challenges are  welcomed.

Bodhisattvas take joy in encountering challenges. They are not interested in some  kind of vague hypothetical challenge, but in real-life situations — not only challenges but disasters as well, because from the perspective of practice these situations provide great opportunities. The question then becomes, “Is this a challenge? Is this really a disaster, or is this a great gift?” What seems to be a disaster or a challenge is a gift to bodhisattvas, and they welcome it.

In this way, samsara becomes a delightful place to live, especially for the bodhisattvas who are training their minds to become free from the deep-rooted weaknesses in the duality  of ego. Everything becomes good, and this is a view that we as practitioners, as amateur bodhisattvas, are trying to learn. Right now we are amateurs, but someday we will become the  real thing, and this is one’s own choice. The key to it is to sit with one’s mind, to study one’s mind,  to learn one’s mind, to find the transcripts of one’s mind in the books and in the teachings. Transcripts shed light on the mind. Use the teaching as a transcript, and then understand that the real teachings are in one’s mind. The books illuminate what takes place in the mind. When we approach the teaching in this manner, the teachings are not separate from our mind. The teachings are our mind.

In light of what we need to cleanse and what we need to nurture within our minds, the  teachings become a great source of relief. As I said earlier, if we don’t have the teachings, we  must resort to our own intelligence, our own wisdom; and if we do not have something greater than our limited intelligence and wisdom in the midst of all the confusion, habits, and conflicting emotions that overwhelm us, we become worse than the fly that is trying fruitlessly to escape, hitting his head against the windowpane. We may even become fanatical in our desperation. The fly, after all, is just trying to get out. Maybe he is hitting his head a little too hard, but he is not harming anyone — he is simply exhausting himself. When we human beings become  fanatical out of our own desperation, we harm not only ourselves, but others as well. Driven by the immense power of confusion and disturbing emotions, we act in ways that further disturb us  and jeopardise our well-being, not only in this lifetime, but also in many lifetimes to come.

Teachings are a respite because they provide us a pathway to understand ourselves, a pathway to relieve ourselves from the burdens, habits, and confusion created by disturbing  emotions and ignorant mind. The Dharma truly does point us to who we really are, what we are really capable of, and what we really can do with our lives and our minds. Generally speaking, an ordinary sentient being can only become an ordinary sentient being. The teachings describe  how an ordinary sentient being can become a Buddha. 

This is not just a description of how it could be for you and how it would be so  wonderful if you could get there. If teachings only described a state that could be so wonderful, but  didn’t show you the path to get there, you would feel like a hungry dog looking up at a chicken  hanging just out of reach. You have no way to get up there. But the teachings are not like that. 

They guide us step-by-step as to how we can actually emerge out of our cocoon of ignorance, out of our disturbing emotions and self-centredness. What are the transformations to  be made? How are those transformations possible, and how are those transitions made in reality?  The teachings show this all to us very clearly, and therefore we feel very appreciative of them. That is why the Buddha is the refuge for us: He embodies the enlightened qualities that are within  the reach of every one of us.